Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
