I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
