Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
