i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
