I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We are all done wearing pants today
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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