Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
