I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
