i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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