I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
