I want to stick my p in your. b.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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