Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
