my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
