so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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