I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize
