Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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