I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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