I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
