i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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