he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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