Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
