ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
