Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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