so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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