Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
