are you still at the devil's house?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
