i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
