I feel great
I just peed on a car
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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