i permit you to call me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The air taste purple.
Randomize
