found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
