Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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