Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My day in three words: secret purse cake