So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
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By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
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If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza