oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize