I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize