Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
