Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
