ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I lost the right to judge tonight
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
