Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
