Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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