You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
