I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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