I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize