TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
