i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
