Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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