I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
