My brain says no but my pants say off.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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