we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
