I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
