This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
