I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize