On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My dick has a subreddit
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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