People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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