i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
