Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He? As in you personified your dick?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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