i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
