I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
